A Drunken post..

No no this is not like Archer’s drunken post about his former over 30 chicca(s)……

It just an incoherent rumble…

Anything else?

Woody Allen is saying the girlfriend is cheating on him (Jason Biggs). This turns out to be true. In her defence she (Christina Ricci) says she only just wanted to confirm that she’s OK,  all parts were oiled (oiling) well, running smoothly and nothing is absolutely wrong – she just didn’t wanna do him and couldn’t understand why…….

The sound of a dropping coin distracts my multitasking – couch, labelled black & spider – 5 minutes it says. Jump up, red can & glass away – all is ready – only needs a dash of V & the black will do well (the only option anyway)…..isn’t kinda cold outside? The fixed one greeeeeeeen greeeen and yes you dimwit  ofcourse I’m! kwani…..drop it….. Knock (bang) on the back door – Damn, that cant be! Unless you turned out to be a jet fuel guzzler – there’s no way!!!

“Dude!” am I shocked? Yeah, I didn’t know….no one informed me….nway bila shindas…..what the hell was the name….? Vijana are maxing & chillin…..Out the other way….Ala ‘Sura ya malaika’ emanating from somewhere….got it! Huh? Naja basi…… this is funny, was it a coincidence or…?? Great timing I think to myself!

Options OPTIONS! Gotta make up your mind…… rev up the Audi (A4)….aint too comfy to do it and it may take a zillion turns to get (out) there…..see ya later! Where is that Isuzu pick up?? Pass by the ‘re-filler’ and fill up with 6 tights ones and one ka loose….thirst is calling!

Boys Boys….that’s a nice coooooooler……last time shenanigan were off the hingez……white ones were discussed…….we shud do it again blah blah…….damn Rooney – yaani how can you miss a penalty….. Bachelor herd wanna watch some English men battle it out with not so many black Africans….. am OUT hia!

Now this is more like it……I’ve stock?? Cool, Bump n Grind….smoke…it aint illegal, right?? Crazy, Hot, lots of it! Damn, kite can’t fly higher….. Sunday?? Maybe…Airforce 1 takes off…….followed by, haiya, ‘Solo’…….disappears to the horizon….damn……opportunity loss they say….. off you go you two…….

‘Man, did we have anything to eat tonight?’ BIMBO it is! Kuku porno lazima!

Oh yeah, the name is Scooby doo!

Is that the time (who cares)?

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

AOB

Am becoming a mlevi, drat, cancel that – I’M A MLEVI. I need help….. who has that number for AA?

Yaani my fridge is always stocked…….

See how much space is left for food??

There’s more…….

Ok OK (before you start praying for my liver), i didnt drink all that – i had some few guys over lakini they chickened out on the viceroy so that is still in my fridge….quarterway…..its my sleeping pill.

But you cant blame me, alcohol is cheap here like that case of Windhoek lagers cost me 81 Pula (Approx Kshs 890 which means one cost 37 bob).

Ms Xs has voiced her concern (many times) over excessviness of kanywaji…… kwanza the way the baby pot is turning to something else…….yeah a sugar daddy. The excuse that its genetical, been in my family is becoming so lame…..and so is ‘i kunywaad alot uji as a toi…”

So i need to reduce my alcohol consumption with an aim of quitting (Archer, Muthii, Kirima, Modo…….. INSERT THAT EVIL LAUGH HERE)

Am wondering what will i do if actually i quit the bottle (Insert that laughter here again)

What are the options

• Learn how to knit
• 
• Workout and get to do that ‘around the block’ morning/evening jog
• Iron my shirts instead of paying someone to do it @ 5 pula/shirt
• Learn how to bake, cook chapati….deep fry an egg (Pilato 2007)
• Do the dishes
• Learn to enjoy non-alcohol induced sleep
• Visit & chat up my neighbour
• Find out where churches are in this city
• Learn more about colours, sijui egg white, bone white, and all other shades of black…
• Be polishing my shoes….
• Rid myself of all these painkillers (for hangies) and EyeGene solution (to clear the redness of maitho)….
• write more sober & sensible posts…. 

Yeah the list is long….. hebu i kamata another Heineken as i think of more options

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