Castles in the air…na madhambi!

Posted: December 5, 2007 in Money, Random

AHOY

How are you good people? Keeping well? Mimi niko mzima wa afya bado niko pare pare getting my black Ass tanned (LOL)….. You should see me sun bathing……while staring at tourist in all forms of un-dress!! Bliss……Maybe I should talk to my boss nicely to extend this working holiday til next year huko Feb.

Anyhoooo to other happenings.

I have a beef with HR guys.

Last month on the payday I passed by the ATM to see if the usual eeeeeeh has been credited. The credit was there but when I saw the figure, for a second I thought that I had somehow accessed someone elses account. The figure indicated there was not what I was accustomed to every month.

I cancelled & removed the ATM card and put it back IN just to confirm that it wasn’t mirage. Yap, the figure was there. A nice round figure!!!

Many thoughts passed my head as I chewed on the kingsize lunch while downing a couple of bottles of that frothy sweet stuff from ruaraka.

Could it be that I have gotten a raise or a bonus and someone forgot to tell me?

Or is a surprise reward to the best and most dedicated staff?

How many Mbuzi & Kondoose will be meeting their maker this Xmas?

How much does it cost to ‘PIMP’ my ride……and so on

A week later I get a call from HR.

Yes you have guessed it – The salary had been credited in error!!

Dayuuuuum.

The usual payroll guy had been on leave & the chicca who he had handed over saw it fit to pay my two months salary at once.

Now comes the painful part. “Do we debit your account with the difference or do we skip December salary??” am asked……

Damn & blast!

How do you answer that as you see all your tu-pipe dreams crush, crash & crumble around you??

AOB:

OK. I’ll confess this is not really an original, it’s just a copy and paste job (Shamelessly!)

I received this forward and I actually thought it was quite hilarious!

Some bloggers rated their blogs juzi juzi and the results were just malicious lies. The exercise was a big joke coupled with bribery & outright rigging! Ati some blog have PG rating! That is just but a big BIG sham. LOOOOL.

So I think this might be a better test on how ‘PG’ the real person/blogger is/are!

By the way, this is fun to do.

Here goes

Just read the “offense” and if you’ve done it, you owe that fine. Keep going until you’ve read each & every “offense” and added up your total fine.
When you are done, publish the total in the comments session.

You don’t have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.

$1,110.60 is the Max

Smoked pot — $10
Did acid — $5
Ever had sex at church — $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who
was next to you– $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace — $25
Had sex for money — $100
Ever had sex with the a different race — $20
Vandalized something — $20
Had sex on your parents’ bed — $10
Beat up someone — $20
Been jumped — $10
Crossed dressed — $10
Given money to stripper — $25
Been in love with a stripper — $20
Kissed some one who’s name you didn’t know — $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work — $15
Ever drive drunk — $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still
drunk — $50
Used toys while having sex — $30
Got drunk, passed out and don’t remember the night before — $20
Went skinny dipping — $5
Had sex in a pool — $20
Kissed someone of the same sex — $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex — $20
Cheated on your significant other — $10
Masturbated — $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend –$20
Done oral — $5
Got oral — $5
Done/got oral in a car while it was moving — $25
Stole something — $10
Had sex with someone in jail — $25
Made a nasty home video — $15
Had a threesome — $50
Had sex in the wild — $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex — $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars — $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older — $20
Had sex with someone under 18 and you are well over 21 — $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time — $50
Said you love someone but didn’t mean it — $25
Went streaking — $5
Went streaking in broad daylight — $15
Been arrested — $5
Spent time in jail — $15
Peed in the pool — $0.50 <– if you don’t add this in, you’re lying LOL
Played spin the bottle — $5
Done something you regret — $20
Had sex with your best friend — $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work — $25
Had anal sex — $80
Lied to your mate — $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good — $25

And my ‘fine’ is…..

“”…….Drum rolls pleease///”

$____

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Comments
  1. 3N says:

    I am fao and my blog is rated PG so let me do this fine thing.

  2. 3N says:

    A measly $227.50….I am such a good person its embarrassing to even post that number!

    No way! A recount of the fine should be done! LOL

  3. modoathii says:

    goodness, i can’t be half as bad and twice as bad as en, enn and enny…575.50.

    Dude! Ngai fafa!! that fine is too high! LOL

    that chiley of HR was hinting hinting…hhehehe. pole dude, naeza uwa watu.

    tuko salama pia. karibu tena…

  4. aegeus says:

    200 dollars! aii!!!

    You sure?

  5. aegeus says:

    unless my mental calculations fail me, that 0.50 i refuse to add since water bodies hold no fascination….

    hehehehe hata kwa river ujawai?/? eish!

  6. Tandra says:

    Hate it when HR calls, tis always a bad sign… sorry dude

    i didnt even get to $100..gosh im such a good peep! so..my rating rocked!!! yay!

    You didnt get to $100? how old are you? LOL

  7. Farmgal says:

    Lol here I was thinking you did a runner with the money..hehehe
    Nice to have you back!

    Didnt much of option! hata nikirun, nitapatikana!

  8. betty says:

    ati $330.60..

    aiiiiiii..ebu i do it again..am getting pen and paper this time round!!

    Naughty gal!

  9. threetypesofcrazy says:

    I think the girl in HR needs to be the one to not be pain in December (okay now read that in proper english!), her mistake not yours. tell them you invested that dosh. ama find the chic’s car an scratch it (DO NOT).
    Yaani you should be compensated for that emotional/financial rollercoaster they took you own- someone must pay.hehehehehe

    on other matters, I see you are back.

    Small question- that list contains mainly not very nice things to have done right? but someone explain to me why “sleeping with someone of another race is up there?” and that is $20 yet “spent time in jail” is $15.

    Hehehehe wacha maswali fortey – WHERE IS YOUR FINE??

  10. Wanja says:

    Still tanning your black ass?!! Pole about the excess mulah “Illusion” and crashed pipes ndotos. Speaking of which how much was your fine? My fine…400.6
    @Modo: Bad bad boy

    Bad bad Gal! LOL

  11. Bomseh says:

    $485.60. I’m doing badly. Welcome back.

    Farmgal and 3ToC where are your fines?

  12. Gish says:

    Forgive me father for i have sinned, i have $420 worth of confessions. How now(KM ’06). Question, what if the crimes we repeated crimes LOL

  13. betty says:

    good question Gish.

  14. bryjoe says:

    i have a $425.10 asi!…when i did let me go that far?
    !that HR chick should compensate you an amount equal to the time your brain went into overdrive thinking of whatta do with all that mulla ..seroisly how can she dissapoint a brother like that?

  15. bankelele says:

    what HR did to you was criminal. they should forgive the oversight or deduct it over 6 months

  16. 3N says:

    gish $420 ? that’s a lot of sinning.

    so far I have the lowest $227.50

    I am looking very carefully at my coworker, how many points can she count for

    plus i know a friend who knows a friend who can get some weed plus or minus extasy

    does killing sheep count, I am about to slay at least a dozen

    this is in vain. I should just sign up for priesthood.

    speaking of priests, is there an annual gala between priests and nuns for 1 night of letting everything go?

    i suspect there might be

  17. Kirima says:

    My fine is too low to even display up on here.
    We have very bad girls and boys here it seems.
    Ati forfeit December salary!!! Someone would have to bleed for me to take that cut.

  18. Mocha! says:

    $165.50 (the $0.50 for peeping in the pool).

  19. sultrynutter says:

    hmmm…. ati $80 for Anal sex?!!!

    this is SUSPECT! How can it have the second highest value… I cant even say what I wanna up here… Too nasty!

    ….$280.50

  20. Shamza says:

    $370.10 waaaah! 75% of these were during my drinking years….glad I quit!

  21. archer says:

    $650.60 only. Honest!!

    DUDE!!!!

  22. k says:

    sultrynutter, we can deduce that $0.5 is from peeing in the pool, $80 from anal sex, so …… heheheh .. i kid .. i kid. Mine was $550.5

  23. sultrynutter says:

    haiya… K
    I can Choke u … I kid … I kid…

    ati Anal sex! … shame on u!

  24. Shiroh says:

    Quite innocent

    Yeah right! LOL

  25. Kafai says:

    Ahem, a very polite 400.5 for me

  26. Kymani says:

    181.00…nice test! I will quit while I am ahead(below par score). Isn’t it better to play with a lower handicap. Hehe

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