Random Nonsense

Posted: January 30, 2008 in Random, wierd

*Scenario 1:

Your girlfriend/wife/gashungwa/kipenzi after the customary hug looks you up & down and says “haki (insert appropriate pet name here), you have become too thin”! WTF??? Considering that you have been apart for only 8 hours, what do you read into this?

*Scenario 2:

You have a recurring nasty headache coupled with mild fugue/memory loss, your doctor recommends thorough testing. He starts with an EEG study, cranial x-rays, sonograms, pneumoventriculography, a lumbar puncture (one painful MF), an angiogram…….etc He also conduct further search in the brain tissue for neoplasms, cystic masses, abscesses, clots, aneurysms and benign gummatuous lumps…..

He checks for chronic intracranial pressure…… abnormal protein, cerebral breeding…… low sugar count that would maybe indicate bacterial infection or signs of fungus infection…..

After all this he prescribes an array of drugs and mouthwash! WTF? is he retarded? After a lumbar puncture you get mouthwash??

**The above scenarios are fictitious and any relation similar or resembling a real-life person(s) is highly coincidental! tsk tsk

PS

Did you know you can lose weight by just eating a protein rich diet? (Do i hear an AMEN!)

Apparently protein requires more energy to digest and thus you could metabolize large portions of it and still lose fat.

However, without the carbohydrates, the excess protein triggers ketosis which results in bad breath, constipation, nausea and general weakness. (A small price to pay if you ask me!)

Anywhooooo just remember, next time you order Nyamchom, forget the ugali & waru – just add a ka-quarter to serve as an accompaniment. It will be your first step towards  loosing that excess fat/weight

Quote of the day

Excess in all things is the undoing of men

Alexander (the movie), 2004

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Comments
  1. Kirima says:

    Despite all that is said of the Meat only diet (Atkins) as I call it I don’t think the accompanying Bad Breath and flatulence is worth it.

    Is it safe to assume you have tried it? More details tafadhali. LOL

  2. shiroh says:

    Scenario one- giggle.

    Share!

    Scenario two- i didn’t know you were so medically educated.

    Oh no am not. My brain (sometimes) has this tendency of absorbing anything i find interesting & remotely amusing! LOL

  3. egm says:

    Just a ka-quarter vile I was thinking you’d recommend ordering a nusu to accompany it? 🙂

    Yeah, nusu will do!!!

    The scenarios you find yourself in my friend!

    hey, read the disclaimer!! LOL

  4. modoathii says:

    dude hiyo ni kitabu ya medical umechambua hivyo yaaani vi-excess?

    so next time we go for ngwoks, we order quarters instead of fries. tutaachwa hapo mezani na madame (bad air from both ends)

    Thats a plot, it translates to more for us – if they acha sisi kwa meza – hence we lose more weight! LOL

  5. Kirima says:

    Surely you know I am not any diet

  6. Wanja tickled says:

    Sweetie (all pun intended) uko sawa? Midlife crisis nini?
    Oooh…and please stay away from ER, House, Scrubs, Grey’s Anatomy, and the like. You are beginning to sound intelligent!

  7. 3N says:

    maybe you ate too much nyamchom in the previous 8 hrs that your metabolism went wild and you lost a few ounces….

    or the kondose that you mangad had been on diet ( zile za magadi…salt diet) and through a wierd scientific process unknown to any man ika duplicate kwako

  8. aegeus says:

    the first one, did they actually see you when you left in the morning?

    two, kwani is this an episode of house? i would think you were suffering from acute halitosis, injuring the doc – hence the mouth cleaning aid and the assorted dawa is actually to treat the various other ailments troubling you.

    what is “cerebral breeding?” THIS I WOULD LOOOOOOOOVE TO KNOW.

    i am all for the protein rich diet! si the side effects can be remedied with passion fruits and lots of orbit – sorry – PK.

  9. sultrynutter says:

    Scenario one:
    Look at it positively maybe thehoney was trying to tell u u look sexier …

    Scenario 2:

    You stushad the doctor to high heaven! He forgot the other ailments and focused on ur bad breath – figured fixing that that was more important than ur brain!

  10. bryjoe says:

    scenario one maybe one of your ribs really poked her the night before. during those manenos.
    scene2 :proof that some doctors are more fired than us

    then this mambo for loosing weight i have another easier solution.there is this meds you take then after sometime the fat from your body chomokas like you can literary see mafuta chomokain.all you you need is like 3 days ,a loo or alternatively if you are really brave a diaper.yeah thats because its involuntary and yes it has to go only thru that back exit.:)
    interested?

    Yes i am – for research purposes ONLY!

  11. Gishungwa says:

    Now thats a diet that i really want to get on protein only, si as long as its protein and they are natural, so drink lots of water and get the protein then double weight loss exercise.

    the diseases i se you have been reading those magazines at wiating rooms.

    oh scenario one, ai she is up to something.

  12. threetypesofcrazy says:

    where do I start, where do I start.
    @3N- wewe, you can’t be sawa. Atii the kondos ate what and then what? And it had to be kondo right?

    @XS in those 8 hours you have been apart from the “one for whom your heart beats for”- did you by any chance have lipo-suction?”

    @scenario two- clearly you need to read between the lines.From Lumbar puncture and whoever recommended this one- it was just for laughs (for them not you) to mouthwash. Well, at least you can say you doctor is all-round. Treats EVERYTHING.

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