Life & times of Jimmy – season 1

Posted: February 5, 2008 in Uncategorized

Let me introduce Jimmy aka Jim aka James. He has decided to share his toi life story with us (through me ofcourse). I’ll try to write it in entirety (while adding some spices, chumvi, roiko here and there for measure).

I grew up with Jimmy – actually you will be forgiven for thinking we are identical twins.

As a young kihii Jimmy hated school and had irrational fear of chicken, i.e live ones. He also did wet bed…… yes, he wants us to ignore this fact.

His hate for school started on the third term of his nursery school. Third term because first and second terms were so so nice – they used to go to school during afternoon session, didn’t have to carry books or nothing and spent alot of time in the mud. This was paradise! For writing (when required to) they would just scribble on the floor using either sticks or fingers. The school didn’t see the importance of wasting good government exercise books on these young brats.

Their teacher, he tells me, liked clay – a week didn’t go by before they were instructed that on there way to school in the afternoon they should pass by a nearby river and carry some mud/clay/whatever. This was done delightfully. By the time Jimmy  got home in the evening it was usually difficult to differentiate between a piglet and him. Yaani he could have given OMO adverts some serious compe – Dirt was reaaaaaaaly his friend!

Jim told me he came to learn later that they attended school in the afternoon because there weren’t enough classrooms in the school. This meant the older class 1 goers used the room in the morning & they used it in the afternoon.

Third term and the school negotiated with a nearby church for them to use the facilities during the week as a nursery school. This is when things changed. Jimmy had to start going to school in the morning (waking up was a challenge) and if that was not enough they had to start writing on books because the church was cemented….. and somehow the ‘pottery’ sessions were out of question… didn’t want to dirty the church!

Jimmy had issues with all these. He let it be known that he didn’t want to go to school anymore but no one minded him. He crafted an igneous plan on how to cut school. Every morning he would leave home for school but never got there. He had found a hiding place under a thicket near home where his days were now occupied with digging out squirrels -for what reason, I myself cant comprehend even after he has explained to me a million times!. Somehow he never got bored with this.

Sadly, his hiding place was discovered (all squirrels had changed base by the time anyway) after one day the teacher queried his aunt of his whereabouts since he hadn’t attended school for two weeks. She was shocked because according to her & his  grand Ma, he always left for school in the morning and came back in the afternoon filthy to the core as usual. They decided to discreetly follow him the following morning to see where he disappeared to. By now the little bugger never bothered to check if the coast was clear before entering his ‘class’! Shock on his diabz!!!! He learnt too late – as he was strategising on what task to partake for the day- that his hideout has been discovered.

Needless to say when he got to school, he couldn’t sit as his diabz were on fire – literally!!

Commercial break. 

I reserve my comments on this song! I like it though

Moving on

Jimmy fear of chicken (Alektorophobia) started when one day his two year old cousin got badly injured by one brooding hen. She had innocently tried to get hold of one of the chicks and the mother hen wasn’t amused. The hen started chasing her and as she tried to run, she tripped and fell and her ka tiny dress rode up leaving her bare back exposed. By the time the hen was shoo shooooed away,  it had already bored a hole on her back!!! For a couple of years after that incident you would never see Jimmy anywhere near a chicken, and any cluck cluck his direction would be met by dust as he became a dot in the horizon (Archer 2007).

He later overcame the fear and went on to become the dispatcher of many hapless chicken to their maker! All sort of crude methods were used. I wont go into the gory details.

To be continued……

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Comments
  1. bryjoe says:

    those kukus from your place are ndeadly!….they can bore holes into people?

    one of the reasons am glad i dont eat them

    You dont eat Kukus? Alafu my place or Jimmy’s place?

  2. Bomseh says:

    Good beginning. So this is Episode 1 of Season 1 ama? Bring the rest. I got pop corns ready.

    Sawa sawa, let me coerce Jimmy to unleash more

  3. dcm says:

    first time posting comments here but never miss your stories.

    Karibu, dont be shy now!

    this particular story reminds me of me!how u ask……i was a truant like jimmy aka jim james.i went to a nursery-the name will remain unknown-that was owned by my grandma..my mum’s aunty!my bro and i went to school barely out of our diapers….my mum was lucky like that!

    my grandma owned pigs…so i used to hepa class to go and taunt hizo nguruwe…ever heard of that myth that pigs dont like human fart!so my aftes were spent by the pigsty daring the pigs!

    Ati what??? You live & learn, goodness me! Too bad Jim & I are all grown so our own experiments are out!

  4. threetypesofcrazy says:

    Is Jimmy to Xs, the way Marto is to the couch?

    More or less i guess. What exactly is Marto to Modo? LOL

  5. prou says:

    I know of another Jimmy who would hide in the bushes not too far from the school and wait for the others to come out so he could copy their homework. He even had a red pen and marked the work himself ticks and wrongs as appropriate. This one was not discovered for a very long time.

    That exactly what Jimmy used to do! Wait are we talking of the same Jimmy?

    I wonder why I have never heard of girls who hepad school to do ridiculous things like dig up squirrels (wow) or are there any?

    LOL

  6. modoathii says:

    the life n times of jimmy, jim, james, JIMBO. i know the kind. LOL!

    more please (to rival the Royco ads)

    LOL at dcm, i remember those days. i learnt about the pigs thing by mistake. almost deadly mistake.

    What exactly were you doing as you learnt this?!

  7. 3N says:

    Xs tell jimmy not to worry most children of that age also wet their beds.

    LOL, should we take it that you were among these many children?

    good song. video — not so much, kinda weird if I may. are they in prison or why are they afraid to leave the room? is the house under construction…too many questions

    bring on episode 2.

  8. Half n Half says:

    That dancing girl at the beginning of the video irritates me no end!

    hey, am trying sooooo hard not to comment on that song! help me out!

    Ati fear of chicken is called what? I thought it would be something like kentaphobia (KFC)

    LOL

  9. archer says:

    Jimmy had an interesting childhood. Wish I did more of that instead of being the good kid. I used to (attempt to) look up girls skirts. That was the only exciting thing about nursery.

    Dude, kumbe ulianza mapema?!

  10. sultrynutter says:

    aiyaya! I was in the same school as some of those mamaz in the video.. same year kwanza! salala… hilarity! dancing in one ka bedroom!

    Eh this Jimmy was a bad boy!I highly doubt he has changed though

    He’s now a reformed gentleman….**cough cough**

  11. egm says:

    Good thing he outgrew that kuku phobia.

    That he did! or so he says! LOL

    Interesting lad that Jim.

  12. crystalballs says:

    yaani is kukuphobia a kenyan thing? juu yenyewe i know too many people who had it as kids and some of us bado hatuja-outgrow, ndio maana tuna-prefer kenchic over kienyeji…

  13. Maua says:

    So did Jimmy drop out of school in nursery?

    It takes me back to when we used to sing that kasong
    Nasikia sauti x2 Sauti ya mama …………….. I guess that’s the song Jimmy heard to come out of his hiding looking like a nguruwe or ‘thakwe’.

  14. nzembi says:

    Lol at Archer! Jim’z my hero! Lol. . .chomoa episode 2

  15. kip says:

    Interesting… very interesting narative.!

  16. muthii fulani says:

    lovely story….we await more..shall we say…grown up anecdotes? hehe!!

    many girls…shaking midriffs attached to….hmm comment man comment! mirror in bedroom….do you have one of those xs?

  17. Gish says:

    LMAO ahem, season 2?

  18. savvy says:

    I still have a healthy fear of chicken (live chicken that is), cows(especially those with horns) and donkeys

  19. beautiful advice and sharing,I will buy one this nice jeans for me .thanks

  20. Kava is utilized in Germany to offer with anxiety and freak out attacks Kava has been found to create the same effects in the brain as diazepam which is a medication that relaxes you.

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