Its a Talent to be annoying

Posted: April 8, 2008 in Random

There are some people I would really like to slap their cold asses to high heavens above.

The list is rather long but I’ll dwell only on a few.

 Couples at an ATM machine.

If you ever find yourself behind such, either sweet talk them to allow you to use the machine before they do or get a chair – it will take awhile!

It’s really amusing. Here is breakdown of events

Insert Card

Put PIN (confirm with Wife who searches for secret notebook in her hand bag where it’s jotted down)

Check Balance. Argue about the balance

Request for a mini statement. Peruse & Argue about Ksh 1000 Withdrawals (at weird hours) at that ATM near you favourite Bar & Visa sales in west gate mall. Reach a consensus (shingo upande)

Timed out: Insert ATM card again & PIN

How much to withdrawal: Get out the shopping list and other budgets. Discuss what’s necessary and what to strike out.

Timed Out: (see above)

Finally: Make a withdrawal

Take money & Remove card

Count Money and redistribute accordingly

Insert card & PIN again: Check Balance

 AARRRGGGGHHHHH!

Suggestion: Banks should introduce Couples ATM booths (they can sort out their money problem there and any other ‘problem’ they might have)

Matatu kange’s (Conductor)

Scene 1:

You try to negotiate bu-flight (fare) from Mbaoni to Ashu….

He tells you to go to a fuel station and fuel ‘yourself’ with that Ashu and walk to your destination.

You will forgiven if go ‘Jackie Chan’ on him

Scene 2:

You are broke, it’s middle of the month. You collect all coins in the house to make fare. After you pay your fare he refunds you the full amount and tells you to keep the coins for Sunday offering & donations!

Women drivers: No offence meant!

If you can’t MULTITASK, keep off the roads. How do you stop in the middle of the road and answer your call?

Nairobi pedestrians

When Lights TURN RED and walk sign is GREEN, then cross the road

When it turns Amber then GREEN, give way!

AAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH

Nosy-people asking stupid questions and they are not blind.

‘Xs, Are you writing a post in your blog’

‘No you damn tweet, Am training this goat here to play a guitar!’

 ‘Huh? Which goat?’

 I rest my case.

Overheard

Zimbabwe Electoral commision are yet to release the presidential results on election conducted on 29/03/2008

Reason: The rigging machine is yet to arrive from Kenya

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Comments
  1. modoathii says:

    LOL! naona you’ve heard your fair share. those pedestrians jazz me, then they swing you that look of “YOU give me way, it’s a crossing lane.”

    was wondering kwani outside RRP kuna ATM.

  2. dcm says:

    you riding up in a lift then it stops at 9th floor…then an idiot hapo nje points juu ama downwards! mind u the direction lights are in perfect working order!…..you point sideways using your thumb!

  3. super says:

    WTF!!!!!!!!! @ ATM will suffice.

  4. 3N says:

    its an art I tell you, one about banks / atm’s…you are behind someone in a bank line then the idiot goes to the counter and withdraws money and that’s it, no check request or money transfer…just a withdrawal.

    And I am left wondering, doesn’t the bank (inside & outside) have an ATM for withdrawals?? Why would anyone make the line??

  5. farmgal says:

    lol couples do that??

  6. threetypesofcrazy says:

    I HAVE TO COME TO THE DEFENCE OF WOMEN DRIVERS! And no I do not stop whilst driving to answer my phone hapo hapo.
    But in their defence- sii driving and speaking on your phone is illegal- it’s not that hey can not multi-task. It is just that they would rather not break the law hehehehehehehe. Then again stopping in the middle of the road is being a dangerous driver—isssshhhh let me go look up some form of defence on that one.

  7. Bigfan says:

    What happened 2 ur SEX lessons? Slow down on that women part. Men r so against women driving coz they’r careful on th rules. Right? I also av an issue wit th lights sm pple think its a catwalk lane & what annoys th most is th COUNCIL ASKARIs, they only arrest motorists n not pedestrians yet ndio ukiuka sheria kwa wingi.

  8. crystal says:

    rotflo…i’ll figure out a comment as soon as i heal my stitch and fix my make-up 😉

  9. Zax says:

    The lift guys again… those people who when the lift opens, they just walk in… how the hell are those in the lift supposed to get out?

  10. NAkeel says:

    So it was your turn? Ask me on Saturday was kept for almost 10 mins till I told thenm to move aside two minutes will be done they continue.. pole.

  11. Gish says:

    When you see couples at an ATM, look for another already.
    Matatu touts are just special, fare is 30 bob you give him a fifty and he asks, wangapi(how many). You would be forgiven if you said mimi na wewe(you and i). I mean how daft can one be?

  12. bomseh says:

    That one for the ATM bado sijaona. Lakini that Kange is very bright. For a moment there I wish I was one and give a commuter that line.

  13. Kirima says:

    If you think couples at an ATM queing at a rural ATM that is a true test of patience but I like the couples booth idea.
    LOL at the wisecracking Kange that one is just too special.
    I have totally no respect for jaywalking pedestrians who expect cant respect the don’t walk sign if I stop at a Red light they must also stop at a don’t walk sign and don’t get me started about jaywalking aaargh.

  14. Wanja says:

    Where do you place the conductors who keep asking you “Unaenda unaenda” yet you are busy shaking you head to say no and making no effort to board their mat, then they insult you for not boarding the Mat? grrrrrh

  15. Mo Ma says:

    Worse than couples is standing behind a gaggle of teenage girls; the way some of them go about it, you might think they’re running the stock market from the ATM. My heart falls anytime I go to one and see 2+ teen girls clustered around it.

  16. frankie says:

    he he he
    120 poeple, one toilet, not a pretty thought…
    anyway, hope u still surviving in SA, didint have time to read the rest of the post..

  17. frankie says:

    he he he
    add this to the list: the people who nag, like ask u if u have done something for like 5 times, it goes like this:
    mum: have you closed the kitchen door?
    me: yes mum
    mum: check again
    me: but am sure i closed it
    mum: just check
    me: allright, i’ll check
    mum: did u find if u closed it?
    me:(in my heart, YEAH! )yes ma

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