uneducated & highly curious…

Posted: April 25, 2008 in sex ed

I happen to be one of those unlucky guys who never got a chance to be taken through a serious sex education class(es) back in school (or varsity for that matter) . However I’ve learnt enough stuff through my own initiative mainly from the university of life…. sometimes first hand.

All the same there some few things that still fumble me. Kindly pardon my ignorance.

We all know (or have heard like  in my case) that when demonstrating how to use a Kondiero, the facilitators either use a banana or anything resembling an ‘erect’ bolingo…. to drive the point home. Now that we have Female condoms, what exactly do they use for this demonstrations??

Talking about the female CD’s, i have heard that it should be worn like 3 (or more) hours before the act…… and am thinking unless you have definitive well oiled plans to get eeeeeeh laid, doesn’t this leave a lot of room for disappointments?

And what about those impulsive moments, You want it, He wants it and you are the only one with  rubber, do you start asking for a 3 hour reprieve or some sort of amnesty to be ready?

Alafu, is it one size fit all…? Can it be reused/recycled?

and doesn’t it make a lot of noise seeing that it’s inserted in some eeeeeeh hollow maybe not-so-firm spaces…..

Can’t it slip inside and potelea huuuuuuko ndani….. and how do you remove it if this happens? forceps?

Ok, let me stop here so as to allow the prayers session to start.

Enjoy your friday people, remember don’t drink and drive….. smoke and fly.

And ladies dont forget……

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Comments
  1. CB says:

    eeeh, i can only answer the first one dear. Like bryjoe says, the girl is always in control, so kama amepanga enough to wear it 3 hrs in advance, it is so on!!
    As for the rest of your questions, hata mimi nangoja majibu…i only just figured out the diaphragm a few seconds ago…wiki?

    EXCUSE ME? MIMI ARSENAL DAMU!! ARRO ARRO????

    but then again i can’t date myself so…yenyewe ni furahi day 😀

    CB, si you can always date another chicca who’s an arsenal fan? or not…

  2. Gish says:

    The arsenal bit, thats low 😉
    the female condom, aaah too much wok i would go with carry a pack for him.

  3. NAkeel says:

    Ati pre-preparations 3 hours wacha si we grab a trust ama the flavoured one uko and hit the bed its easier before appetite falls.
    Now why you want Adebayor to stay single wacha…

  4. Kei says:

    U really are curious…. at forceps? As long as they don’t solicit my help…. No way am going in after my ejaculate

  5. Kirima says:

    Believe me there is a prop for demonstrating the femidom we had the demo during one of those world aids day talks we organize at jobo, had some people blushing, you should have seen peeps faces when a real one was passed around for people to feel the texture.
    Apparently they can be re-used!!!
    That T-shirt tells alot!! obviously I love it.

  6. archer says:

    Allow me to educate you.

    1. Kirima ameijibu. Alternatively, the instructor forms an “O” using thumb & index finger.

    2. True, it should be inserted three hours in advance. That’s where it failed to make sense to me as well!

    3. The jamaa should always be prepared beforehand. Otherwise, angojee 3 hours.

    4. It generally is one size fits all. Unlike men whose penis sizes may vary, women have a pretty standard er…depth, of about 8 inches. Which means every woman on average has 2 inches of unused vagina. Multiply that by the number of women in Nairobi and you’ll realize that there are several kilometres of unused vagina!

    And no, the juala cannot, and should never be recycled.

    5. I’m pretty sure it does squelch huko ndani kwanza when she’s walking around!

    6. It can’t potelea huko ndani coz it adheres to the moist vagina walls and therefore remains firm in that position. Besides, the cervix opening is too small to allow the juala to potelea ndani.

    Do not attempt to insert forceps pare pare, otherwise thou shalt never get laid by said vagina’s owner ever again.

    7. I agree with the t-shirt. Real women date real Chelsea fans coz we’re distinguished and polished gentlemen, unlike the rest.

  7. 3N says:

    Seriously Archer…this has made my day

    “Unlike men whose penis sizes may vary, women have a pretty standard er…depth, of about 8 inches. Which means every woman on average has 2 inches of unused vagina. Multiply that by the number of women in Nairobi and you’ll realize that there are several kilometres of unused vagina!”

    I swear you need to see someone…you need help

  8. Zax says:

    Well well… all interesting i must say. Lots of questions i have been asking myself… but have been answered well by Archer. So can it like be worn for over three hours?

    Like she wears after shower, dresses in it, gets in her car… drive through traffic and by the time she knocks my door its three and a half hours and when I open the door we salimiana doing it???

  9. Zax says:

    As for Arsenal fans… sure, no better way to put it. Man United fans are the men.

  10. sultrynutter says:

    MADNESS! some people need Jesus.. wanajijua! 3 hour reprieve? the chic has options nyakua an old man 60+ years and while he is popping his viagra u are popping in ur kondeiro- 3 hours later things are working au?!
    unused vajayjay? … hmmm if a baby has pitiad that ka route is that used or unused?

  11. Hail Mary Full of Grace- send it Archer’s way.I second and third 3N, Archer- I am praying that help is on the way.Kwanza in that Ambulance XS put up here the other day.

  12. Wanja amused says:

    mmmhhh allow me to educate you.
    Kirima and Archer have some facts right so i will add a few.

    1. NO, you dont have to wear the Femidom 3hrs before ‘use’ (these are some of the myths we are trying to dispel)You can insert it during foreplay! (tried and tested)

    2. Femidom is NOT TO BE RE-USED i repeat it is not to be reused. Tumia mara moja or is it roundi moja and dispose

    3. It does not squelch

    4. More effective than the Male condom as it protects the user from acquiring the HPV virus by covering the whole genital area.

  13. Half n Half says:

    Forgive them their trespasses as they forgive those riswa….. aki you guys are totally gone! But must admit it has made my rather BT day better!

  14. madthoughts says:

    it was intended to be give the women some level of control in bedroom matters thats why it can be used maaaaaany hours before the actual act- it does squelch and make a lot of noise but thats to be expected seeing as it has a lot of lubricant and i guess Kirima taught us all well,innit?

  15. kip says:

    I am taking notes.. again .. I like the pic of the lady.. are those boobs real ama ni silicon . Dagitari please expound..

  16. kip says:

    HOLD UP while taking notes DID WANJA SAY THE damn thing covers the whole PELVIC AREA????

    so DID i just get played and kip is screwing a rubber or something..??

    No No!

  17. kip says:

    damn this is interesting …. am now fully awake.. ati thrii hours (3) ghai .so if the football match is to start at 11 pm then it should actually kick off at 8pm … while still in traffic?

  18. Wanja very very amused says:

    Aki Kip i did not say pelvic area….wacha i fafanua for you.

    The vagina is the opening that is located directly below the urethral opening (where you pee from). The opening is called an orifice, as are other openings in her body. Directly outside of the vaginal opening are the labia minor, the smooth inner lips of the vulva. Outside of the inner lips are the labia majora, the fleshier outer lips that are typically covered in hair. Unlike the male condom, Femidom covers the Libia Majora too

  19. bOMSEH says:

    Archer,3N and Wanja have done it in. Boy, am I learning new things up in here?

  20. candybox says:

    2″ of unused vagina? lol. I learn something everyday.

  21. @wanja very very amused- now if that is not GREY’S ANATOMY (not the series)I do not know what is.
    Kip, uliza tena!

  22. Kirima says:

    Do check out the wikipedia page on the femidom it actuallyy says the older polyurethane condoms could be washed up to 10 times9shock!) but were actually quite noisy the newer types are single use.
    I also discovered there is a Bikini condom rather like a G string that can be worn way before

  23. 3N says:

    Kirima, how did you discover that there is “a Bikini condom rather like a G string that can be worn way before”

    LOL

  24. Kirima says:

    Wikipedia!!!!!
    Where would we be without wiki and google?

  25. okay XS, this is turning into discovery channel. It’s a good thing I read this blog in the privacy of my house- this has me in stitches.

    Kirima ebu answer 3N’s question hehehehehehe

  26. archer says:

    Dr 3TOC, si you’re the gyneo, shouldn’t you be the one educating us? For all we know, maybe Kirima wrote the Wikipedia article on bikini jualas!

  27. kip says:

    lol @ archer….. lol

  28. A Son of His Mother says:

    ‘However I’ve learnt enough stuff through my own initiative mainly from the university of life…. sometimes first hand.’

    I am assuming this..er..hand is..er..figurative?

  29. archer says:

    indeed…..left or right? Kazi kwako Jimmy.

  30. nzembi says:

    Lol Archer yo my HERO! hehehe

  31. valentia says:

    ok..I have officially killed myself laughing…as 3TOC says..good thing I read this at home….the post plus the comments..:)

    I have definitely learned something(s) new today….

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