Break ups….

Posted: July 14, 2008 in Random

At the risk of sounding like lowly Dr Phil of some magazine (printed & published in Gutterville), today am offering tips on how to handle break ups.

Its never easy, will never be and it will continue happening.

Work with me. Its better to feel the pain now and get it out of the way rather than postpone it, right?

Am not an expert or anything, the following should be done solely at your risk.

Get Closure– End it & burns the bridges if necessary. Dont toy with the idea of reconciliation.

Dont contact you ex – PERIOD!

Take off that pedestal– Dont jump at the site of an email or call from your ex

Get out the negative feelings on a paper– Burn it later, Dont send it!

Avoid his/her friends and their hangouts – Hang out with your friends instead

Dont try to get your stuff back – unless its very valuable!

Throw everything out that reminds you of your ex – Donate it charity, it doesn’t matter, Just discard them!

Remember the Bad times  – More reason of not wanting to get back together

Exercise the newly found freedom – Got out, chill, be crazy, try new hobbies & ideas. Travel

Sleep with another person– Better if its a person that will make your ex jealous. LOOOL

My job here is done

Happy break up! Oooops ma bad

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Comments
  1. CB says:

    hehehehehe thanks for the advice…now i know who NOT to ask for tips on how to get along with the ex…:D

  2. archer says:

    Good advice, Dr Xs, lakini at that particular point in time, we are all known to throw logic out the window & sulk for days on end.

    It’s also brought out a couple of theories I’ve been working on.

    1. About closure, most times when we break up with someone or they break up with us, very rarely do we tell them what exactly they did wrong (i.e. if infidelity wasn’t the main cause of the breakup) so we get confused, and we make the very same mistakes in our next relationships. Me thinks we should spell it out clearly that “I’m ending this relationship with you coz I can no longer tolerate your XYZ”. That way, we can change our tabias so as not to repeat them in the next one.

    2. Avoiding their pals and hanging out with your own pals. But what if you’re dating within the same social circle i.e. you both have many mutual friends? Is it a good idea to date within the same clique? It’s easier to date from without coz in the event of a breakup, fallouts or re-alignments of loyalties can be avoided.

    The idea of sleeping with someone else is a good way of getting your ex out of your mind. But sleeping with your ex’s pal earns you bonus marks coz you emerge as the top, regardless of whether you were dumped or did the dumping. Trust me, it works!

  3. .99 says:

    Interesting, very interesting. Ati Remember the bad times LOL! You are funny…

  4. pinkmemoirs says:

    @CB, see me on how to get along with the Ex.

    Great tips, and I agree with Archer on both his points. My beef however is the fact that people wait until relationships are all bitter and all to break up, hence the need to burn, chop kill etc. Why not just have an amicable break up when you both realise it’s not working?

  5. pinkmemoirs says:

    To add in a tip especially for the girls:
    Look fabulous daily!

  6. savvy08 says:

    good tips these ones..now let me go hook up so i can break up and see if the tips work!

  7. shiroh says:

    Dont try to get your stuff back – unless its very valuable!

    I think by the time you realize a breakup is about to happen, you can start carrying your things back to your place.

    Not keeping in communication, is the best way to end one.

  8. prou says:

    If I have been dumped I have to think about reconciliation so I can do the dumping with glee. Is there anything like a happy break up bwana?

  9. Milk shake. says:

    Thumbs up! Silent breakups works for those who dont have the nerve to say its over. Dont pick up calls and it’ll be over. When you choose to tell the other party dont ruin their life ARCHER: reasons y we dont tell the exact reason eg i tell a man his goodies r very small to perform? The man will lose confidence and waste time looking 4 enlargers instead of moving on. I think its better to let them go feeling sober. Break ups come with signs when i notice them i raaaan first.

  10. PILATO says:

    Thank yuoooooooooooooooooooooo Doc XS but this one “Dont try to get your stuff back – unless its very valuable!” hapana ! She has to return to Pilato what belongs to Pilato ,Period..

    I also disagree with this one “Sleep with another person”- I will simply move on rather than taking the beef this far..

    GOOD advice Xs..You saved the day

  11. val says:

    hahahahahaha….aki the post and the comments have killed me..seriously..kwanza Savvy..lol ati ur going to hook up with someone just to break up with them???

    @ PinkMM..si we have agreed ours is a series of special cases???

    I don’t agree with that vybe of sleeping with your exes pal…for a chic anyhu methinks your name is somehow ruined after that (times when it pays to be a guy methinks)..I have seen this happen to to a pal…woi!!

    Yes look fabulous always..Sultry’s points to be added here..

    but why ask for your things to be returned?? kwani you’re planning to do what with them??? Si the former Mr. Val tried that with me he had to go and get his specs fixed…..I kinda broke them when I was flinging the jewellery in his face…ashindwe kabisa!!!! (yes but we’re still friends…lol)…sometimes violence is the answer!!!

  12. Gish says:

    I think that you give space to get over each other after that you can be friends. Having dated someone for x period i would hate not to be friends.

    Xs your advice is sound save for the sleeping with another.

  13. Nakeel says:

    Lovely advises Daktari…

  14. Mocha! says:

    Hilarious but good advice. Esp. the last one. Believe me it works. I was the exs’ friend and believe me the chic was jealous. I told her where to get off when she contacted me. Story for another day!!!

  15. nzembi says:

    Good advice . Archer too has 3 points… nice

  16. Kirima says:

    Good advice that I hope I don’t need to use.

  17. Clearly, you will never get Koffi Anan’s job.

    Actually your job here is NOT done, not done at all.

    Get the negative feelings out on paper- SERIOUSLY.
    So if you are not supposed to go back for your stuff and the ex is taking the stuff to a charity, sii the ex e-mails you to let you know what charity you stuff is being donated too.

    Rememeber the bad times- what if the good times out numbered the bad by far? Haya, what kind of doctor are you? Ebu tibu the whole disease.

    Now, now Daktari, if you are sleeping with someone to make your ex jealous then please re-visit your advice numero uno.

  18. 31337 says:

    this is very good bad advice.

  19. Wanja says:

    mmmmhhh….really? I am more of Keying his beloved ride 🙂

  20. modoathii says:

    riiiiiiiiight! good one.

    space is good. yes, katiaring in a groupie is ngumu. i wouldn’t want my stuff back. it’s gone it’s gone, but it shouldn’t be donated to charity…choma, tupa kwa pit latrine…anything. as in if our ‘love’ dies, gifts pia zizikwe.

  21. Carol says:

    Oh yes!Thanks,waambie wajue!Someone told me its childish not to keep friendship with an ex!I said it was my view and we have no more to share once we become exs!

  22. betty says:

    Pumpkin those are some serious tips !!

    AOB
    Pumpkin I am here and i am safe, THANKYOU FOR URE CONCERN.i is lurkinin the shadows reading and missing you all.

  23. savvy says:

    @val
    seeing as everyone is saying this is good hillarious advice, i’ve got to practice it on someone… so i shall do the testing to prove if it works

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