A trip to the Xrated Zoo

Posted: July 29, 2008 in sex, sex ed, wierd

People, do you realize, Whether we are cognizant of it or not, sex is happening all around us? Ahem

And am not talking about your over-sexed neighbours, who you always wonder how they do it or if they swings…., No, am talking about other species of the animal Kingdom who we share this planet with. We can learn alot….. and am not asking you to go out & purchase DvD’s of Animal porn (do they exist?)….

I will confess that i have had my share of animal porn early in life… i grew up in a farm…. and whenever we heard that He-goat Bwehehehehehehe while he sniffs she-goat piss……., or when a Rooster started that chase….. we knew free shows were about to start! Damn, if only i had a camera them days…. LOOOOL


I came accross some did-you-know-kind-of-maneno which i found quite amusing. Here goes

  • The red-sided garter snake mates by having massive orgies with up to 25,000 participants. Unfortunately, the male snakes pile themselves on top of each other trying to reach breeding females (known as “mating nests”), and end up crushing the female participants to death.

Now this i would like to see!!! 25,000 for real? and who counted? And what’s the purpose if the mnyanye is going to be crushed? And while we talking of snakes mating, where is there bolingos? nje ama Ndani… underbelly ama where? Does little Johhny snaky stand to attention….? Kuuliza tu

  • One snail shoots a “love dart” into a potential mate to indicate sexual interest, after which the potential mate will shoot a return “love dart” to indicate that they would like to do it as well.

Ati darts? So hio ndio kukatiana?

  • The male bower bird will construct a small home out of twigs and decorate it with wild flowers, the female bower bird will then fly into many of these homes and judge who would be the best


  • Rattle snakes – When the female is ready to breed, male snakes engage in violent dance battles to achieve supremacy over potential rivals while the winning snake will continue to dance in order to seduce the female.

After that does she still need foreplay?

  • Male guinea pigs are usually revving to “pleasure” any female they set their sights on, but in the rare case they aren’t in the mood, the fairer sex is more than willing to seduce potential partners with butt wiggling, grumbling and other “hot” moves.

 Ati hot moves?? This i need to see…

  • It has been suggested that female gorillas engage in bisexual acts in order to stimulate alpha males into breeding

Ati Atia?? Kumbe some human tendencies could be blamed from our ancestors…?

  • Though most geese prefer to form lifelong partnerships with members of the opposite sex, numerous males just aren’t interested in the sexual delights the female of the species has to offer. These geese are usually gay and end up developing romantic alliances with fellow males. Furthermore, some females, who appear to be sick of the local dating scene but who still want a family, are known jump into homosexual romps in order to be “accidentally” fertilized

ROTFLMAO!!!!! This one takes the crown!

  1. 31337 says:

    that one for geese takes the cake. and the whole bakery, no shit!

  2. Ramb Lesex says:

    All I saw was Orgies and Female Bi-sexuals. The rest are just details!

    I remember once visiting the Ostrich Farm and seeing a male ostrich doing its dance before summarily mounting a female that was seated on the ground. I think photos of that exist somewhere.

  3. I guess you left no stone unturned, huh!

  4. val says:

    OMG!!!!!!!! I have almost fallen off my seat!!! Too funny!!! kwanza the butt wiggling and other “Hott moves”..(ebu research and find out)….and the gay geese!!!!!! But tell me, how do the lesbian geese get “Accidentally” fertilised???

    Off to wipe the tears from my eyes 🙂

  5. prou says:

    Eh! Why are you calling geese men? Swali tu.

    Edited! Sawa?

  6. pilato says:

    I prefer the snail style of requesting for the goodies…wish it was that easy…

    Man, have you ever seen the pundas do their thing…yao ni lazima lazima, Punda jike likes it or not, mzingo lazima ufike…

  7. pilato says:

    I like it the snail way..only if it was that easy in our kingdom..

    Have you seen the donkeys do their thing? Theirs is lazima lazima..whether the she-punda likes it or not, mzigo lazima ufike..kind of rape in the animal kingdom

  8. pinkmemoirs says:

    So are you trying to say being gay/bi is just us living our animal instincts? 🙂

  9. Kirima says:

    Loool its true that indeed we are nothing but animals!!!!!!!
    Those first ones would I be correct to also call them “gutter snakes”?

  10. Mocha! says:

    LMAO…I see what you do in your spare time. Weird research.

  11. nzembi says:

    Lol!! geese ndio wanajua!!

  12. […] to Xs The geese are not gay but I am attempted to bring in another female and see if we can get a menage a trois […]

  13. 3N says:

    Gay Geese…they need help and religion!

    speaking of Animal Farm Sex. I remember doggies catching strokes and getting ‘stuck’ to each other.

    And sheep mating too, never saw a gay one though.

  14. magintu says:

    You know life is hard when you have to gatecrash a gay orgy to be accidentally fertilised. Whenever I’m feeling sorry for myself, I’ll think of the geese.

  15. ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS YOU ARE SUCH A TRAITOR. Meet me at Val’s last post.

  16. savvy says:


    i have watched a clip of mating lions on BBC… that is all i know as far as animal porn goes..

  17. […] they can keep going at it upto 40 times a day. I have put the picture here for the benefit of Xs and other scientists who are interested in the mating habits of different species. I also got an […]

  18. ---Supreme-G.R.E.A.M--- says:

    I was cruising in the web and came across something interesting with the Octopus. its reads like…

    Octopuses are sexier in the wild than in the aquarium, report stunned researchers who snorkeled among the frisky cephalopods for several weeks in Indonesia. Some Abdopus aculeatus males employ deceit, mimicking females with their changeable colors and sneaking up on them from the reef bottom. Others jealously guard their mates, fending off competition with a fatal multi-armed stranglehold.

    The males were also more discerning than researchers suspected, showing a preference for larger females capable of laying more eggs. The hard-fought couplings do not last, alas, since the octopuses die within weeks of laying their eggs. What little was previously known about octopus mating came from those in captivity, which apparently doesn’t put them in the same mood.

    We thought we humans are the best!

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