Posted: October 15, 2008 in Random

I have been leaving work quite late – we are on the final critical stage of the project and cutover is looming up ahead….. and being alittle experienced kiasi on these things, I have given duty to oversee our biggest branch here in Kampala.

Our office is somewhere along Speke Rd and it’s not very far from my (temporary) abode…. so i just walk, Kampala is quite safe. 

Along this road there is this club which really rocks and am usually tempted to pass by to hit 1 (or 3) beers for the road… 

In the early hours of the evening & depending on the day you might think this is a very boring club, but lo & behold, as the ‘real’ night creep IN, the regulars start strimming in all forms, size, colour, age, undress, nationality… etc. This place is called Rock Garden but by night it’s name changes (unofficially) to SHOPRITE…. if you are a willing buyer, there are more than enough willing sellers. 

In this place its best to avoid eye contact coz that can easily be mis-interprated as a silent invite and since Supply clearly surpasses the demand, ‘patrons’ here are quite aggressive. If you are not principled man you will easily find yourself ‘chipsied’ (Archer 2008).

After my 2 or 5 beers & handful pool games I re-start my journey home, unchipsied.

The streets are also not empty as sellers whose ‘Sell-By’ date expired or lack the money to buy a ‘nurse’ to will away time as they try to hook a sucker or think better prospects can be found the street, are here. These ones are not just aggressive but can be quite vulgar.

”Ssebo, how are you”

I look away as I increase pace

”Ssebo, why are you running away? Dont you like me? I’ll do you all styles”

After no response, she switches to Swahili

”Nimetoka kuoga na niniio nimeiiosha saa hii, nitaku…….”

I didn’t quite get that last part.

Just before i get to my ‘home’ entrance, another 40something mama is standing there wearing what looks like a Mini dress with buttons infront. Because of her size (or the dress size) she’s overflowing not in a nice way…. serious can you imagine a woman size 22 wearing a size 14 dress?

I shake my head as I wonder, how drunk should a man be to pick up such?


Oh well ni Maisha! Its life

  1. Kafai says:

    Clearly she gets clients bure she would have given up a long time ago.

  2. archer says:

    LMAO!!!!! Chips zingne lakini…zinafaa kuachwa tu.

  3. bankelele says:

    And on the third day?

  4. Zax says:

    Drive along Westlands Road (Nrb) Usiku… and make an attempt to slow down kidogo… I would think lorry ya EABL imeanguka… there are some weird langaz there that will flood ur car!!!

  5. 31337 says:

    they are everywhere these days. shortly utafungua gate and they all rush in!

  6. 3N says:

    LOL @ Banks.

    i think guys are just desperate and stupid, if you are gonna pay for sex at least get a quality langa…sad really

  7. 3TOC says:

    those girls are ninjas- for real. They have not called out random boys names as you walked past to catch you out?

    Something like, “eh Peter”, “hi Paul” or ” Tito you have come back”- dare you look back atii because your name has been called…..

    Rock Garden rocks with the right company.

    You are one brave man to walk that street at those hours- no it is not the thugs you need to be worried about.

  8. ---Supreme-G.R.E.A.M--- says:

    When peeps are out drinking and have a car, they take ‘a lap of honor’ on that famous street ‘oxymoronically’ named ‘coin-age’ however I guess our streets have freaks as none of these chix will approach if u more than two!

  9. Half n Half says:

    Ati I do all styles? Now thats marketing

  10. valentia says:

    Ati Shoprite..woisheee now thats a supermarket..like one of the few in Arusha…actually its THE supermarket in A-town…

  11. savvy08 says:

    Mh… hautaki mchips?…. Amusing manenos in Ug..

  12. super says:

    Mhhh mkanda urambwe??? (BJ?)

  13. savvy08 says:


    am still to get the link to your blog but i think u crazy (that’s a compliment btw)

  14. Carol says:

    It happened, you noticed,and imagine you were drunk,thank goodness!

  15. Peter says:

    Seems like tutes are getting bolder by the day. It happens even during the day in Nairobi’s Luthuli Ave and River Rd. Then Westi and CBD’s K-Street.

    Ni kubaya.

  16. bomseh says:

    Business is booming globally I think, or maybe it is the season.

  17. madmyke says:

    You are trying to imply that even after 10+ brown bottles you still wouldnt give her a second look?

  18. Miss Cheri says:

    Wow…okay…lemme read more about your Klas escapedes.

  19. Miss Cheri says:

    Lol…Shoprite…I had no idea.
    The sellers’ sell by dates expired…nice new spin to this. I thought they were selling non perishable goods.

    Too funny, I’m inducting u into my blog hall of fame.

  20. Miss Cheri says:

    Keep the tales coming.

    When I come back, I’m gonna be a super MADAM and recruit sexy 20 somethings to patrol the streets…not people’s grannys.

  21. Mama says:

    Hehehehehehehe! ‘I will do you all styles’….now thats funny!

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