Archive for the ‘sex’ Category

Loss of sexual desire…..

Posted: October 15, 2011 in sex

Loss of libido can have a variety of causes – some psychological, some not. One of the leading causes of lost sexual desire is stress and fatigue. In this case the condition is temporary and desire returns when the stressful period ends, or when you’re able to get enough rest.


Sex can arouse a lot of anxiety in people who are unsure of themselves or fear humiliation. For someone who has never had sex – or has had a bad experience with sex – the anxiety level can be overwhelming. People may fear that they will not be able to become aroused or excited, and fail their partner. Alternatively, they may fear the consequences of sexual activity (pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections). Fear of sex – or even intimacy – is not uncommon, and most people experience it at some time in their lives.

Estrangement from partner

Someone who feels hurt by, or angry with, their partner may express their emotions through a lack of sexual desire. Women, particularly, find it difficult to have sex when their feelings have been hurt or they feel “unsafe” in the relationship. Negative feelings toward your partner may be incompatible with the prospect of sexual intimacy, which decreases your level of arousal.

Misdirected sexual desire

This phenomenon often occurs in the case of “closeted” gay men and women. While actual sexual desire may be high with members of their appropriate sexual orientation, many people ashamed or insecure about their sexuality will still force themselves to desire the wrong sex. Often “closeted” individuals marry and have children while still suffering from lack of sexual desire for their spouses. Others may be disturbed by their fantasies or fetishes and may try to ignore them by repressing their sexual desire.

Physiological causes

Not all the causes of low sexual desire are psychological in nature – in older men, it can be caused by a low level of the hormone androgen. Women may experience “interruptions” in sexual desire through different stages in their lives. Hormonal deficiency can sometimes be treated with hormone injections. Anything that adversely affects your metabolism will undoubtedly cause some lack of sexual desire. This may include an accident, trauma or illness. Depression, and the medication used to treat it, may adversely affect libido, as will anything that causes pain. You should speak to your doctor if you have problems created by medication, or if sex has become painful in any way.

I really want to want sex…

A short period of loss of desire may correct itself. Reducing stress or anxiety will help, too. If it is caused by problems with your partner, physical wellbeing or fears, see your doctor, a counsellor or even a sex therapist. Work out your fears or expectations. If you have a loving partner, talk to her or him and spend time together finding things that you enjoy, that are exciting or that make you feel closer to each other. Wanting to want you partner is a good start.





Bi sexual or Just Bi-curious?

Posted: January 8, 2010 in Random, research, sex ed

While driving to work today, I heard a woman on radio assert that all women are bisexual…. Or at least bi-curious. Apparently this caller has the hots for Kalekye Mumo of Kiss 100. I was tickled and as you know, the curiosity in me was piqued. So it was time to do a little research. Now all I need is to find any woman courageous enough to answer a few Questions…..

Funnily, Sexual orientation isn’t often cut & dry. People find themselves attracted to different people throughout their lives. So what’s the difference between bi-sexual and bi-curious?

The bi-curious women are playful and ready to experiment the taste of female flesh just for fun and can range from kissing and touching to intimate sexual contact, and everything in between. There is no actual definition of where bi-curious behavior begins and ends.

Bisexual women have sexual and emotional attraction to both genders. These women may or may not be willing to ask you (a man) to join in on their girl-on-girl escapades.

This is FYI to all women (just incase you didn’t know), the concept of two women making love with their soft, sweaty bodies pressed against each other has been proven by numerous surveys to be the most popular male fantasy. Show me a man who refutes this and I’ll show you a liar. And please ladies, don’t mistake this fantasy or use it to define and/or judge our own sexuality….. A man once in awhile needs to experiment (in the confines of his head)…. Though we might be open to suggestions/ideas.

So do all women have bisexual tendencies?

In the 1940s, Alfred Kinsey turned the whole argument on its head with his famous scale of sexual orientation. He found that most people didn’t fall into either strictly defining category of straight or gay — meaning that most of us are a bit bi. There is now a more modern and in-depth scale called the Klein Sexual Orientation Grid (KSOG).

So how do you tell if a gal is bisexual… or curious? Below are few pointers, not exhaustive I might add.

  • She openly appreciates women

This is the gal who arguably loves fine things and isn’t threatened by beauty of another. She loves pretty things (read pretty women) and appreciates their sex appeal. Her mind is open to observing such things… and maybe, just maybe, it’s also open to more.

  • Past experiences

She has at some point been involved in the woman-smooching scene and a tongue found itself wandering. This gal will always refer to that moment whether she liked it or not, and may be open to a repeat performance.

  • She’s into girl-on-girl porn

Enough said.

  • She’s overly affectionate with certain friends

Hmmmmmmmm ‘Overly’ here might be an understatement. It’s my gal this, my gal that!

As I said my list is not exhaustive….. Please feel free to share more pointers in the comments session and let’s help a sister out. Also you can use that KSOG scale just to be sure.

Moving on, further research show that women of age group between 20 and 35 are far more inclined to be with another woman for the sheer pleasure and experience of it. They are more sexually aware of themselves and of others around them, invoking curiosity and a genuine desire to experiment with sensations and their sexuality.

Women aged 35 and above may have become disillusioned with men due to a distasteful experience, and are now seeking the emotional connection that has been absent from their relationships with men. Though there is a greater tendency for this group of women to jump the fence and become full-on lesbians, they will most likely show an interest in men again once their emotional needs have been filled. Many women will temporarily swap sides to engage in a fully lesbian relationship, and they may seesaw from women to men throughout their lives

Teenagers on the other hand, are young (between the ages of 14 and 19), impressionable and keen to impress. Internet porn, the Madonna and Britney kiss, Sex and the City, and American Pie have all directly contributed to the new norm of girls kissing girls.

Now I still have more questions and I wonder if this blogger would care to answer a few……

Source: Internet

Dont let the fire die

Posted: October 28, 2009 in Random, sex

If you’ve been in a relationship for some time, you’ll know that it’s difficult to keep conflicts or personal issues from affecting your sex life.

A good relationship is important for good sex.

It almost goes without saying that this is true, but so often this is forgotten. When emotional issues involving anger or a need to control are encountered, the journey to sexual fulfilment is interrupted until these conflicts are resolved. If you’re wondering why your once sizzling sex life has fizzled out, it’s probably not the technique that’s to blame.

Qualities that contribute to a successful sex life are the same ones that contribute to a successful interpersonal relationship; love, commitment and communication.

LOVE: You need to love the person in spite of their faults and they must love you in spite of yours.

COMMITMENT: Complete commitment brings security to each partner. It can be an important result of and expression of unconditional love. Commitment helps to breed satisfaction.

COMMUNICATION: Even if partners have mutual love and commitment, they need to communicate this by what they say and do. Couples need to talk about their hopes, dreams, fears and hurts (and the daily details) for the relationship to flourish.

So, how can you have a dynamic sex life? By developing the same qualities that contribute to a strong relationship, which combined, help produce a maximum oneness and bring the greatest pleasure.


Found Graffenberg yet?

Posted: May 14, 2009 in Fun, sex ed

Am sure most of you are wondering WTF Graffenberg is?

Actually, it’s not a person but rather a spot. All women apparently have this spot; the generally accepted term is G-spot.

For anyone still wondering, this is an area 2-3 cm into the Vijay on the upper wall that feels like a wrinkly peach. Many men (actually majority) still believe it’s a myth because many a times their hunt for this spot ends up feeling like a hunt for a unicorn or some other mystical beast.

I overheard this interesting conversation where some guys were saying that the bigger the gadgets you have packed in your boxer, the higher chances of hitting this mythical spot.

WRONG! (I almost shouted…!)


The scientist that I am believes that the bigger you are, the less likely you are to hit it.

Actually all you might end achieving is hitting the opening of the cervix and hurting your lady…. (But you might be lucky to encounter the A-spot while you are there)!

Least am misquoted, this should NOT be taken to imply that if have finger sized maneno, you will hit the G-spot without breaking any sweat, no no no NO!

Curvature & position matter a lot. Doggy style has been known to have good results*. Jimmy also says lifting her hips in a certain angle can work too**

And to conclude this Dr. Phil session, my brothers, remember that female satisfaction is not always a factor of arousal but is due to the genetic predispositions…

And with that, I’ve gone back to my hiatus…..

Happy hunting!

*based on mere hearsay, no statistical data is available!

**Any advice from Jimmy should be taken with a pitch of salt!

Disclaimer: Xs, Jimmy or this blog are not liable for your continued failure to find the said spot or other ramifications that may arise due to your eeeeh handicap!

Deflowered….. soon…. hopefully

Posted: November 26, 2008 in Random, sex ed

Clande took me in…. but that didn’t work out either. I was too depressed, am still depressed. Wifey has lengaad all my calls, she has refused to see me, and all my emissaries come back with the same message – go drown in River Sagana! I dont even know where that is! Eish

Now clande throws me out too! Ati she wont have a grown up man mopping & crying around her house 24/7 – for another woman at that! Ni sawa tu!

I went to seek refuge to one person I knew always has my back, Jimmy. He is a good guy, really kind hearted. He says I can stay as long as I need. Thanks Bro – I intend to!

Now Jimmy Younger brother (JB) has just cleared 4th form and we have been hanging out (in the house) watching movies, playing cards, scrabble and whatnots….. He tried to interest me in video games sijui PS2 etc but lo, old dogs don’t learn new tricks.

The other day he confessed that he’s still a virgin and he wanted me to give him some pointers on how to be deflowered. Am always generous with (free) advise and I complied. This is what I told him

  • Abstain – wait until you get that right girl yada yada yada blah blah blah fishcake
  • If you indeed disregard that first tip, then identify the lucky lady. An older woman will do. By older I mean anyone between 20 & 35, the older the easier. Most men (90%) loose their virginity to an older woman. Make sure she’s not somebody wife, if she is, ensure that the Husband doesn’t find out. By the way, a mboch will do…! Just ensure she’s well groomed. You don’t want to provide an abode for miguu sita aka chawa huko nethers!
  • Don’t let her know it’s your first time – surprise her! And surprised she might/will be.
  • Carry & don’t forget to wear ‘socks’…… don’t believe that tale of ‘how do you eat a candy with the wrapper on…’ AIDS is real!
  • Borrow your brother his playboy magazines…. Ok steal them! You might want to know (first hand) what you will be getting yourself (literally) into. The biology books might have misinterpreted or mis-presented some facts a little. And don’t be shocked if you find a bush down there….. don’t compliment.
  • Dont forget that this is a marathon and not 100M sprint. Breaking Usain bolt world record will not get you any brownie points. Take your time, get her into the moods. Do some research on how to….. ok i’ll give you some handouts…eish!
  • Premature ejaculation is not a myth……..IT WILL HAPPEN!! If you think it will help ask, ask Palmela & her 5 friends to help you relieve the pressure. And again don’t worry, you are young, you will rise to the occasion almost immediately
  • If its good & she’s willing, there is no harm in hitting it several more times, then move on. Don’t get attached.
  • Remember my first tip!

 Happy hurting JB.

And now am sure my readers have a tip or two to add. Read on

Squirty matters…

Posted: October 30, 2008 in sex, sex ed

I confess! I have forgotten how to blog! But before i get all rusted up and hang the boots, allow me to share some interesting maneno that I stumbled upon.

Apparently women do Ejaculate! Hey stop looking at me like that, its true…… No i don’t have any evidence but am planning to experiment. 

A woman ejaculate is expelled from urethra (same place where pee comes out from) and its a clear liquid (hence forth termed as juice). This juice is released from Skene’s glands (urethral sponge). What this means is that if a chic doesn’t have complete control over her pubococcygeus muscle, chances are that you may actually get peed on as she tries to squirt! LOL. But If you are a scientist (like me) you know not all experiment succeed at first trial so if this happens, just be cool with it. Think of it as a golden shower…. 

For this ‘experiement’ to succeed, your gal need to be very sexually in tune with her self and she should be willing to let you play (unhindered) with her vijay (If you dont know what that is, ask a friend). She must feel free & be comfortable with you.


Find the G-spot. Guys, Dont give up…. its there….somewhere…. (best of luck in finding it)…. you need to manipulate it (delicately) with your fingers and in no time, she’ll be soaking wet, all her juices drenching your hand.

Happy experimenting!

A trip to the Xrated Zoo

Posted: July 29, 2008 in sex, sex ed, wierd

People, do you realize, Whether we are cognizant of it or not, sex is happening all around us? Ahem

And am not talking about your over-sexed neighbours, who you always wonder how they do it or if they swings…., No, am talking about other species of the animal Kingdom who we share this planet with. We can learn alot….. and am not asking you to go out & purchase DvD’s of Animal porn (do they exist?)….

I will confess that i have had my share of animal porn early in life… i grew up in a farm…. and whenever we heard that He-goat Bwehehehehehehe while he sniffs she-goat piss……., or when a Rooster started that chase….. we knew free shows were about to start! Damn, if only i had a camera them days…. LOOOOL


I came accross some did-you-know-kind-of-maneno which i found quite amusing. Here goes

  • The red-sided garter snake mates by having massive orgies with up to 25,000 participants. Unfortunately, the male snakes pile themselves on top of each other trying to reach breeding females (known as “mating nests”), and end up crushing the female participants to death.

Now this i would like to see!!! 25,000 for real? and who counted? And what’s the purpose if the mnyanye is going to be crushed? And while we talking of snakes mating, where is there bolingos? nje ama Ndani… underbelly ama where? Does little Johhny snaky stand to attention….? Kuuliza tu

  • One snail shoots a “love dart” into a potential mate to indicate sexual interest, after which the potential mate will shoot a return “love dart” to indicate that they would like to do it as well.

Ati darts? So hio ndio kukatiana?

  • The male bower bird will construct a small home out of twigs and decorate it with wild flowers, the female bower bird will then fly into many of these homes and judge who would be the best


  • Rattle snakes – When the female is ready to breed, male snakes engage in violent dance battles to achieve supremacy over potential rivals while the winning snake will continue to dance in order to seduce the female.

After that does she still need foreplay?

  • Male guinea pigs are usually revving to “pleasure” any female they set their sights on, but in the rare case they aren’t in the mood, the fairer sex is more than willing to seduce potential partners with butt wiggling, grumbling and other “hot” moves.

 Ati hot moves?? This i need to see…

  • It has been suggested that female gorillas engage in bisexual acts in order to stimulate alpha males into breeding

Ati Atia?? Kumbe some human tendencies could be blamed from our ancestors…?

  • Though most geese prefer to form lifelong partnerships with members of the opposite sex, numerous males just aren’t interested in the sexual delights the female of the species has to offer. These geese are usually gay and end up developing romantic alliances with fellow males. Furthermore, some females, who appear to be sick of the local dating scene but who still want a family, are known jump into homosexual romps in order to be “accidentally” fertilized

ROTFLMAO!!!!! This one takes the crown!