Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

AN OPEN LETTER TO DAVID MOYES

Posted: December 9, 2013 in Uncategorized

“Dear Moyes,

With all due respect to the fact that you were hand picked by Fergie, I would like to categorically air my displeasure on how you keep working hard to ruin a dynasty that took long to build. Firstly, with regards the Everton Game, it was no secret that Fellaini, Giggs and Wellbeck were not helping us in any way.. Sad that poor Kagawa and Rafael had to be victims of that small team mentality that is proving so hard to remove from your head and oh my!! you just had to slot Chicharito in right at the end so that he could also walk the walk of shame. In case you missed the memo, you are a Manchehester United coach now and at Manchester united we don’t play just to win a couple of games but rather to win the league.
FROM A SOCIAL PERSPECTIVE Do you have any idea just hard you have made it for us (MAN UTD FANS) to put on a MAN UTD jersey?? do you know just how much we avoid social media in fear of scorn and demeanour? Im sure you heard, while at Everton, that we always talk highly of our team but so far you are not giving us the platform to exercise this right.

FROM AN ECONOMIC PERSPECTIVE Think of our loyal ‘Gambler’ fans who are now losing out a lot on their bets, just how much more property do you want them to gamble away. Look at how much revenues the Bars and Pubs are now missing out on because most of us now watch football behind closed doors. ‘ I’m sure you know our fans drink a lot.

FROM A SPIRITUAL PERSPECTIVE Our sin book is now overwhelmed because we are cursing a lot more nowadays, we are smiling less and instead letting out all the pressure on our innocent wives, children and people who love us way much more than you love us.

FROM A MEDICAL PERSPECTIVES just how are we going to account for the involuntary insomnia you bestow upon us week in week out, most our once healthy Man UTD comrades are now prey to hypertension and emotional stress. plus you know most medical personnel are Man UTD fans so you can only imagine how patients that walk in with Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool, Mancity, Newcastle and Everton T-shirts are being treated (especially in the theatre) I refuse to believe we are a small team because we came a long way chewing bubble gum and bagging them Trophies. we refuse to use both hands in counting the difference in points between ourselves and the log leaders. we refuse to watch worthy players rot on bench as you experiment with Fouls(fellaini), Turn overs (Giggs) and failed attempts(wellbeck) I wish you well as you evidently begin to fight for your stay at old Trafford and I also advise that you try chewing gum aswell, trust me it will make you cooler.

Your in grief and sorrow, Passionate MAN UNITED fan.”

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Numero 5

Posted: July 5, 2011 in Uncategorized

How much has happened in so little time!
All our wonder withers in the wind.
Praised be love, that turns our days to rhyme,
Psalter to what else had merely been.
Years of love become a dance for two,
Fraught with grace, sustained by skill and art;
In time with time, though quite beyond time through
Forsaking all that would estrange the heart.
Time disappears, for love’s an ancient song
Heard forever by the ever young.

 

 
Poem by 

Am sure this is odd coming from a dude, i must confess am no expect on the subject matter but I am lucky to have personal experiences on a regular basis!

Disclaimer: this is not my original work

Women can be a little fickle – It’s their prerogative. And while there are no hard-and-fast rules to women, there are certain things that you should know (that many of us keep getting wrong!) about women.

Below are a few little secrets. Of course, these won’t necessarily mean your relationship will be confusion-free. You’ll may still bungle it up now and then – but at least you’ll have some items to cross off your list of “what women want”.

So, if you’re male, take note:

  • Sometimes, a backrub is just a backrub
  • Chocolate works in most emotional situations
  • “Fine” is never a good answer in response to “How do I look?”
  • The answer to “Do I look fat in this?” is always “No, of course not!” Feel free to toss in “Have you lost a little weight?”
  • We remember everything
  • Don’t talk about your ex. Ever.
  • Groping and foreplay is not the same thing
  • With regard to the above, more is better. (Foreplay, not groping!)
  • Vacuuming the house or doing the dishes will get you further than flowers
  • While we’re on the subject, a vacuum cleaner is not a birthday present (in general, this applies to other appliances too)
  • “Now” means “now”. Not “later”, “any time soon”, or “whenever you feel like it”
  • Never ask whether she’s in a bad mood because of PMS
  • No matter how cool she seems, if you’ve done something wrong, she is mad at you
  • If you don’t know why she is mad, work it out. Don’t ask. It will only make her madder that you don’t know.
  • She is going to ask how you feel
  • She needs to hear how you feel about her. So tell her. And then remind her again in ten minutes.
  • She expects you to notice things like hair cuts
  • You don’t own the remote, even if you paid for it
  • She wants to be best thing that’s ever happened to you. And she wants you to know it.
  • She’s afraid to meet your mother. Also, don’t ever compare her to your mother.
  • She doesn’t like being told how to do things, even if she asks
  • Her job is just as important as yours
  • She is less excited about receiving lingerie than you are about giving it

There you have it.

Just remember: Despite spending years trying to understand women, reading up on their psychological make-up and occasionally watching Oprah for some insight, They will still be a mystery!

It’s part of why we love THEM.

[Source: healthinsiteonline.net]

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Posted: April 2, 2009 in Uncategorized

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Disclaimer: No promises!

Should I…

Posted: March 12, 2009 in Uncategorized

….. Give up?
Maybe I should hold on for alittle longer…
Damn, this ain’t easy!!!!

Episode something…

Posted: September 8, 2008 in Uncategorized

My first memory of soap was of Imperial Leather…. in my eyes!

However for Jimmy it was Rexona! 

You should understand, my mum (May she rest in eternal peace) used to work in City Styles, a famous designer shop in Meru back in the 80’s thus she could afford afew luxury in life…read Imperial leather soap.

Nostalgia…

Anyhooo Lets come back to Jimmy & his eventful youthful life….3TOC & 3N you dont have to wait til 2010…

Jimmy was the only Boy (amongst enough girl cousins) in his Grandma’s compound and thus its was a thrill when Hump(rey) was brought…well sought of delivered-cum-dumped by his Mum to this homestead. She was tired of raising the Kid on her own while his Army dad partied all through…..

Hump was a special case….. he idolised Jimmy sooo much. Anything Jimmy said goes (or is it Goed since its past tense… Intel clarify)

Both of them had a chronic bed wetting problem…which was rather a huge embarrassment since the girl cousins didnt experience the same predicament…. Jimmy being the older, clever & industrious one came up with a simple solution… they would tie their wee wees before bed and vooooiiiiilaaaaaa problem solved! 

Hump took it seriously and really tied his ‘uncut’ wee wee enthusiastically and off to bed they went. Come morning they had achieved their objective, both beds were dry. However for Hump he faced another issue. His niniioo was swollen to the maximum and he couldn’t untie the knot. His wails caught attention of their aunt who after accessing the situation came brandishing a sharp knife….. by some luck Hump made it through (uncircumcised) and has chosen (selectively) to forget the happenings of that day! He will never talk about it!

Another time, after morning classes since they were still in lower primary & didn’t go to school in the afternoon, Jimmy coerced his cousin to go for Mountain ‘slides’ instead of doing the customary cattle herding.  

Mountain sliding for those clueless involved using broken pieces of plastics Basin or jerrycans as gliders down a hill. These rides most of the time ended onto a river or a nearby tree or if lucky enough a shrub. At the end of the day, the School Khaki short really took a beating and two gaping holes will be seen greeting the world from the rear…. 

Grandma was never amused after such ordeal & sight, and at the verge of a heart attack since her cattle didn’t have enough fonder, ordered the two boys to go for a bath. As per kawa they just washed the usual places….. Arms & legs since it was a weekday…. Grand Ma threatened a thourogh beating but Jimmy ofcourse being hard-headed refused to have a full body bath (it was a weekday for heavens sake and full body bath was reserved ONLY for sundays!). 

Grand ma ordered food (yellow maize Ugali & milk) not to be served to the boys til they had a FULL BODY SHOWER since they resembled squirrels!

and Jimmy ran away from home….. at tender age of 7, his cousin at his heels! All because they could’t fathom a full body bath on a weekday!

To be continued…..

AOB:

I want to open a pub.

I’ll be the greatest customer….and I hope to Lure Kirima, Archer, Milo, Modo, Mwas, Kafai & Halfs to the joint…. The Eight of us will guarantee great returns!

I want to name it ‘CHRIST IS THE WAY BAR & KUKU place‘….. do you think that name is too long?

PS: 

and finally In the spirit of eastafricanism,,,,,,,,,,, hope this will be of some help to someone…. Dude, dont suffer in silence!

My CSR here is done! Just add +256 to that number.

Dee Dee….

Posted: June 21, 2008 in Uncategorized

I have a feeling that when i get back home ‘Dee Dee’ will have gotten tired of waiting for me and gotten herself a new mate….. I wont blame her….. She needs to be ‘ridden’ now and then…… And I also need a change…. A new relationship is always a delight…..

We met over a year ago, It was love at first sight! She was my first….. i wasen’t her first…. all she needed was a pair of good shoes….

We have shared some very good times together.  Everyone thought we made a good couple. We complimented each other very well. What with my elongated limbs and her roomy comfy inside….

We have had no bad incidences, she never let me down, she always got me home, no matter the time or weather. She is a good girl and even though she is perceived as high maintenance, it wasn’t the case. I always gave her what she needed… She sung to me nicely. She was very reliable.

Right now my father is taking care of her…. he rides her, i dont know if she can tell the difference….. or if he’s doing it better than i did….. I hope he is taking good care of her. She’s very fuzzy when she doesn’t receive proper attention, well all her peers do these days. But knowing him and the fact that Dee Dee is not ‘his’ am scared he might neglect her….. let me call and find out.

So as dee dee searches for a new lover mate, i guess i’ll start doing the same.

Now this might not be as easy.  It’s difficult – really – to get a good replacement especially after receiving such good service from her.

I shall miss her